Top 5 HOTTEST HOLES

velocity New Orleans

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!

The 2015 SINKHOLE de Mayo’s “HOTTEST HOLES OF 2015 results ARE FINALLY HERE… and VELOCITY AGENCY has exclusively been given the results.

We know you’re on the edge of your seats so without further adieu, here are your HOTTEST HOLES OF 2015:

5. DIRTY SANCHEZ.
Jose “Dirty” Sanchez made the cut this year with his devil-may-care attitude, laid-back style and reputation for getting down-n-dirty.

Dirty Sanchez 1 Dirty Sanchez 2

 

4. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS.
These “Chicken Brothers” first came on the scene when we met them on the hit AMC series Breaking Bad. After both characters were aptly killed off, the REAL brothers turned their attention toward their first & second loves: music & running the streets. It’s no surprise these bad-boy heart throbs made it on our list at #4.

Esse's

 

3. THE DESPERADOS
¡Ay Caramba! Senor Pablo & Senorita Juanita “Sassy” Gonzales, were a shoe-in at #3. Desperate for permanent citizenship after touring America on a work visa as professional salsa dancers, this red hot couple were recently awarded Green cards! When they’re not throwing wild fiestas, the Gonzales’ are known for their colorful lifestyle as Swingers.
¡MUY CALIENTE!

Pablo & Sass

 

2. DONKEYXOTE.
He’s an ANIMAL. Literally. This guy doesn’t know the meaning of “moderation,” and bravely (drunkenly) goes further past “the line” than any Ass has gone before. Donkeyxote secures the #2 hot spot because he has literally set himself on fire thanks to a combination of passing out with a lit cigarette, attempting slight of hand after telling bar patrons he’s an amateur magician and reenacting scenes from his favorite movie, Scarface.
Happy Trails.

Donkey

 

AND AT LAST…. THE MOMENT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR… THE #1 HOTTEST HOLE OF 2015 IS…

1. THE RIM JOB.
This beloved hole was unanimously named #1 because ultimately… The Rim Job is just so darn great at bringing people together! Sure it’s a little salty… but they say it’s best to swallow life with a grain of salt.
HERE’S TO YOU, RIM JOB… for always bringing the heat, no matter the hole.

Rim Job
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